time is of the essence.

“I’m just about out of that bursting into tears at random” 

“It’s been three months and I’m STILL bursting into tears at random”

Something which it’s really important to consider is that not everyone one is the same. Which I know sounds like a really silly thing for someone claiming to be able to solve everyone’s problems. Everyone is different, which means that different people handle the same things in different ways.

The subject of time comes up a lot. I went out for a meal with a few old friends last month and the subject of a couple of recent break-ups came into conversation. And one mentioned that three months since their break-up the tears were still in full flow for no apparent reason. Which is sad of course, nobody likes to see their friends in tears. But for me that saddest part was that she spoke like she should be over it. Like three months was an eternity, far too long to still be thinking, and be sad, about that stuff.

I thought about this, and I thought, three months is nothing. Now I’m not advocating Mrs Havisham-esque spinster lifestyle, spent constantly waiting and weeping for a lost lover. When my last relationship ended saying I was “upset” would be beyond an understatement-and I was the one that ended it! It took me a good six months to close the door properly on that; to stop the “random bursting into tears”. 

I think for a lot of people getting past this initial sadness is probably the hardest part to get through, because it has a nasty habit of coming back to bite. It’s not a vicious circle, but I think you’d struggle to truly feel realisation if this was the case. Take your time with it, that’s all I’m saying. 

And when people tell you to “man up”, or “stop being silly”, or that “it isn’t worth crying over”, or indeed “it’s been long enough now”, hold your head high in the knowledge that they are wrong. Because they don’t understand. Because you are you, and they are them, and everybody is different.

Now that really is the first step to becoming a “strong, independent woman who don’t need no man”

Happy singledom x